Spicy Rigatoni & My Relationship With Food
This week, I found myself craving spicy rigatoni from a classic red sauce place in New York that I first tried on a trip about seven years ago. This recipe unlocked not only a fondness for that time, visiting my college roommate and solo-traveling around the city, but also some tough memories of my strained relationship with food back then.
I’ve always loved every aspect of food. My Spanish grandma and dad taught me technical skills but also a deep, unending passion for all things meaty, cheesy, oily and boozy. As a teenager, I created elaborate, themed dinner parties as an excuse to express some of my culinary fantasies. My favorite was ‘French Countryside Christmas’ - think checkered fleur de lis tablecloth, ham with Maille mustard and Gruyère, parents strongly urged to bring lots of wine… it was great.
This exploration was halted when I started to work as a model when I was 18 and entered a world where that kind of reverence for eating is non-existent. As my emotional and financial value became tied to my appearance, I stopped eating in the same way we’ve all heard so many times about models in the media. Cigarettes were my favorite meal back then and I still can’t believe I never got in an accident on any of the long drives from my parents house to la for a shoot having nothing but coffee and five Parliaments in my system. This lifestyle somehow lasted for about five years and that trip to New York, where I was asked to test shoot for a popular designer, came right at the end as my body started to protest. Once there, I was overcome with crippling anxiety the whole time, the designer’s team was deeply unkind and I pretty much decided I was over it all.
On the final night, my angel of a friend (hi helen) took me to one of those insanely popular Italian places that have squat little wine glasses that the waiters refill automatically as soon as you empty them. This meal, where we both had giant plates of pasta and drank so much wine, is where I started to retrace the path back to myself through food. I’ve found in my work cooking professionally that every woman has her own version of this path, with the journey seeming to span each of our lifetimes.
me on a shoot in arizona, 2018
Spicy Rigatoni Pasta
Ingredients:
1 bag of rigatoni pasta
1 tube of tomato paste
1 tablespoon calabrian chili paste
1 stick of butter
Olive oil for drizzling
Pecorino Romano for grating over top
Method:
Bring a pot of water to boil, heavily salt water to taste. Once boiling, add pasta and cook for 7-8 minutes or until al dente. Before straining, conserve 1 cup of pasta water and set aside. Strain pasta in colander and set aside. Using your pasta pot, melt stick of butter over medium heat and once foaming, add tomato paste and chili. Stir chili tomato mixture until combined and allow tomato paste to deepen in color and come to a simmer, 2-3 minutes. Add pasta water to this mixture a bit at a time, stirring to combine until you have a uniform sauce. Add pasta back into pot (with heat still on), drizzle with olive oil and stir until sauce is clinging to noodles. Plate pasta, top with grated cheese and enjoy.
